For the second April in a row, I’m contributing a line, the eleventh here, to a community poem, developed like film in different darkrooms, forming a picture-poem for kids:
Nestled in her cozy bed, a seed stretched.
Oh, what wonderful dreams she had had!
Blooming in midnight moonlight, dancing with
the pulse of a thousand stars, sweet Jasmine
invented a game.
“Moon?” she called across warm, honeyed air.
“I’m sad you’re alone; come join Owl and me.
We’re feasting on stardrops, we’ll share them with you.”
“Come find me,” Moon called, hiding behind a cloud.
Secure in gentle talons’ embrace, Jasmine rose
and set. She split, twining up Owl’s toes, pale
Notes: Happy Poetry Month! In 2012, Irene Latham launched the first Progressive Poem to celebrate April, poetry month, and community. Check back April 30 for the complete poem. This year’s authors are these brave souls:
Great post thank youu
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Brenda – this is such a wonderful contribution and appreciation and well deserved…bravo
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Your line adds some beautiful movement, imagery, and a touch of the spice of adventure. I love it. Thank you!
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Thanks! I wanted Jasmine to have some agency. 🙂
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It is so much fun to see what everyone does with his or her line….and I can never predict it. What will Jasmine do next? (While I wish I had been checking in each day, I must admit that it is neat to read several lines at once!) xx
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
WONDERFUL VERSE, Y’ALL!!! 🙂
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Thanks from all of us, Jonathan!
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ORT-ORT-ORT! 😀
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Not surprised a surprising line comes from YOU! Such strong images, Brenda – thank you, and off to see what magic Carol has spun…
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Thanks, Robyn. Am I getting a rep?
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I love the drama in this line! Niiice!
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Thanks, Laura. 🙂
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So many surprises. And here I was thinking she was already whisked and away with owl… but no! She is a take-charge gal! Doing it her way.
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I hope she is. 🙂
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“Jasmine rose and set. She split”
Oh yes. This abruptness, the short closed sound, gives the poem a whack upside its moonshine gentility and gives Jasmine some muscle–it takes power to split and then twine up some talons, pale or otherwise, in midflight.
Love it.
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LOL I was harkening back to the first line, trying to give Jasmine a little sass. A little spunk. I fear I gave Carol a bad time of it, but it wasn’t meant to! I just wanted her to be a seed. 🙂
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Brenda, how many hours later after we last emailed each other am I at the end of the journey. I must admit that the word pale had me stumped. I tried to imagine what you thought would work next so I started to analyze the poem. I like your alliteration stemming from Matt’s word, secure. I tossed the idea around that Jasmine split her legs and wrapped them around similar to a yoga twist. I tried to play with that. Then, I noted that Jasmine might be a seed after all which I initially thought. You will see tomorrow what I did decide would be the next line and I hope you will feel that it fits in with yours. Thanks for the lead in that was tightly woven.
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Can’t wait to see your line. Now that you’re done, and I won’t be influencing you unfairly, I can admit that pale was meant to weave Moon back in. And I did see Jasmine as a seed with growing to do, metaphoric or not. Mostly, I hoped to introduce action, conflict, tension and mystery. A bit ambitious perhaps. Sorry I left you hanging with pale, but the scansion required it. I also thought you could take “pale” and use “pale as” and run with a description of Jasmine. This is shaping up into a lovely story with lots of possibility.
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hmmmmmm…..watching with great anticipation
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Thanks, Linda. Me, too. I know your line will be awesome.
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i love it, and can’t wait to see what happens )
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🙂 I’ll put it all up when it’s done. Still more than half to go.
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You’ve added the tension, Brenda, well done! Now what, and what is that “pale”? I like that you showed her climbing in, ready, courageous!
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I’m glad you like it, Linda. Thanks! Have to keep people reading. 🙂
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What a neat idea!
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It’s fun to participate. 🙂
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This is intriguing, Brenda. And I love your developing film in different darkrooms analogy. You are fabulous!
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As are you! I loved your short fifth line, and I thought it would’ve made a great pattern to follow (short every 5th). Yet, the community wisdom will prevail and we’ll see what comes. Such fun!
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Wow, this poem keeps clipping along, doesn’t it? Thank you Brenda… pale what???? xo
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I have my pale ideas, but so much fun to see where Carol takes it.
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And the adventure continues! Thanks for your line, Brenda…I’m wondering where Carol will lead our heroine tomorrow.
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I thought the story was right about at Act II and a little growth would be fun. 😉
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What an amazing idea!! I’ll have to follow along to see how it turns out! Great beginning! 😄😄
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So many outstanding kids writers participate. It’s fun.
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Truly beautiful. 🙂
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I can’t take credit for much of it, but thanks on behalf of all of us.
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