A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.
— Franz Kafka
One of the hardest realizations after college was how ordinary my days had become. The same routine, seeing the same places, meeting the same people, day after day. Occasionally, would come a butterfly moment, when ordinary transformed into extraordinary, and my inner spark could shine.
root-bound foliage
spider plant babies waterfall
glow with health
write joyfully
creating thought collage
redolent with youth
Years later, I am locked into a similar repeating pattern, day after day, mostly domestic: cooking, cleaning, overseeing homework, laundry, ad infinitum. Writing keeps me sane, and permits the daily grind to be grist for a deeper calling. Because I must write, I find 15 minutes here and there to create. Success is continuing to write, continuing the daily chores, and finding beauty where I can. Once in a while, comes a butterfly moment, when an idea, the time to write it and the words sort themselves into a magical order, and something extra shines forth. Something I didn’t intend results; creation takes on its own life.
On my daily walk, I contemplate small white blooms, fountaining from tiny bulbs. They bloom only a few days out of each year. They might have green foliage for three months. BAM comes the frost, and the small plant dies back into dormancy. These few days of bloom take a year of effort. Yet that bulb, smaller than a fava bean, erupts into snow white beauty, a true butterfly moment of transformation.
Would I keep writing if I only had a few days to shine each year? Am I as dedicated as a bulb?
spark hides in bulb
awaiting transformation,
butterfly moment
snowdrop bursts forth
after long winter dormancy
head bowed, grace
Copyright 2014 Brenda Davis Harsham
Written, in part, for the Haibun Thinking Week 12, Freestyle Week.
Beautiful Haikus… My favorite form if poetry… I also adore butterflies…
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Thanks, butterflies are special. 🙂 Thanks for commenting! Warmly, Brenda
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There’s always an expectation Brenda every week that you will produce an outstanding piece for this challenge and as always you have not disappointed. I am pleased you able to use very productively the short space of time you have to write i know what it is like with children and a household to run. I enjoyed this haibun and haiku very much Brenda.
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Oh, what a nice thing to say! [No pressure there! LOL] Huge hugs! Brenda
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Well I always feel reading your writing is a very worthwhile use of my time. I very much like the way you craft your haibun and I did connect with you over times issues. I did uni many years ago by correspondence and with a house of little kids time was at a premium. Needless to say I did enough to pass, just.
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Yes, my issue is, how do I stay home and be available to the kids, but to start to generate some income… I’m a lawyer, and if I go back to practicing law, I will not be so available anymore or home very much. And I need to write, I really do. I thought I might as well give it a whirl. I have a novel in for a manuscript critique at a writer’s conference in a couple weeks, and I’m ridiculously nervous. I’m deep into creating a world for a new novel, which is way too much fun to be making a living. LOL Wouldn’t it be great if I could swing it? It would feel awesome!! And I love haibun, but it doesn’t seem the easiest to market format. It’s addictive, though. 🙂 I’m reading Basho, and it is luminous.
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Well I wish you luck you never know Brenda where risk might take you. Writing is fun isn’t it, I am always reminded of Terry Pratchett’s comment in his novels, ‘ writing is the best fun you can have sitting down’. But I appreciate your need to generate income and writing for a living is a hard gig. Thankfully I do it solely for the fun it provides me. That anyone reads my work is a bonus in itself, my view of a best seller you might say. Have a great day and good luck with your novel.
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Thanks!!
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Very interesting perspective – to think of ourselves as a flower, having just a short season of life! I’m sure the more time we have on our hands the more we waste, at least I seem to anyway. It really annoys me when I’ve got up extra early and the entire day appears to go like lightning! Perhaps if we did have such short lives like a flower or a butterfly, we would achieve a lot more in that short space of time – maybe. 😉 Thank you for that thought, I shall have to start thinking like a flower and pack a whole load of achievements into a small space! 😀
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I don’t doubt you can do it, Suzy!
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What a lovely view of love and sparkling moments that we have. Thank you for sharing!
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Thanks for commenting. It’s easier to write about the shining moments, but the mundane are so much more of what life is about. It’s funny, isn’t it? Cheers, Brenda
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Yes, you are right Brenda.. I guess our job is to catch the sparkle, special, or heart-touching within the mundane, perhaps..
Have a great day,
Easter
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Good points, and therein is the magic. 🙂 You are a special lady, warm hugs, Brenda
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🙂 Thank you so much.. I am truly touched. You have made my day Brenda. Bless you lots and lots,
Easter ❤
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Now you’ve made mine! Huge smiles and lots of love, Brenda
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🙂 ❤
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a wonderful analogy! 🙂
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Thanks! I do love butterflies! LOL
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES IT TAKE TO TURN ON A BULB? ONLY GOD CAN!
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i know you would keep writing because you are a beautiful writer and born to it. you have no choice in the matter, really.
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LOL I believe you are right, I have no choice. Thanks for putting such a nice spin on my writing. 🙂 You also, friend!
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Brenda, another wonderful poem and beautiful snowdrops, so innocent and pure. I used to work so many hours in an interesting but stressful career, where there was little time for me and family and home came first always. So I had the ‘butterfly’ moments, writing on wet paper in the bath, or on the tiles with crayons! Scribbling when out with the dogs, or waiting for an appointment. Life is still busy but there’s always time to write. As you say it keeps one sane! 🙂 xx
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What was your career? How tantalizing… 🙂 I also had a busy career, in my case before kids, and butterfly moments were very rare then. 🙂 I am delighted to have more time for free writing than I used to.
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Just beautiful.
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Thanks! You have chick moments all the time!! LOL
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I can totally relate to days being mundane, and then having those butterfly moments as you say. That just transform you and make life worth living. But not everyone notices the little things, like snowdrops with their heads bowed, how beautiful that was. And that’s why writers are so special, they point those little things out to us and make us appreciate our surroundings that much more.
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I remember being unhappy in the mundane in my early 20’s, wondering when life would pick up, get exciting. Looking back, I realize that was excitement, what I was doing then. 🙂 Perspective is everything. I had moved to New York City, had my own apartment, went out dancing until 3 in the morning. Saw Shakespeare in the park, broadway shows. Ah, those were good days. I don’t know that I would have noticed snowdrops back then, but I do now. 🙂
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I always enjoy butterfly moments. And it is a pleasure to read yours and that kismet type moment of recognition – Yeah I’m like that too…. Though at this point I traded some TV and reading time so I can write. And some sleep time too. Especially on the days when I watch my grandy-littles. Routines can be soothing and healing. I didn’t know you were under the weather so-to-speak because I just don’t have enough time to visit all my friends everyday. I do hope you are fully recovered. I am looking forward to spring – though it actually looked as if there might have been frost this morning!
Thank you for selflessly sharing yourself. And thank you for your ‘likes’ to let me know you have stopped by. Makes me smile each and every time. Cheers ~Jules
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I’m so glad you could relate to my experience of life. I am fully recovered, and the kids are all well, thanks. I’m glad to drop by your site, although I don’t always have time to comment. I love having haibun and poetry friends. 🙂 Peace and Joy, Brenda
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There were two thoughts here I absolutely loved – first the idea of butterfly moments and second the idea that the daily grind is “grist for a deeper calling”. Such a great way to see pieces of the ordinary in a somewhat less routine way.
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Thanks. 🙂 That way the ordinary can transcend. 🙂 I would so love to impart that to my kids. Working on it. 🙂
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From how you write – and what you write above (ie: much of the beauty/wonder found in everyday and nature) I think you are well on your way to giving your kids that.
I find my kids are pretty good at reminding me about it too 🙂
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Forgot.
This September I´m going to start an online class on Edex University called “The Art of Poetry” So watch out ! Here I come……gonna do a battle of Haiku´s with you. I´m going to be a 31 year old student, yet again studying, actually I´m looking forward to be a student again.
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You go Charly!! Knock me dead! I remember studying poetry with great affection, I love it. Woo-hoo! To be a student again. To be 31 again… sigh. 31 was a very good year for me.
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Let´s see how it turns out. Has to be interesting.
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I think I talk for everyone here that I´m glad you find 15 minutes here and there to write and share it.
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Charly, thank you my friend. That’s a lovely thing to say! Hugs, Brenda
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I was in the middle of writing the other message….we got connection
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Yes, I love connection! LOL I have to go get the kids up and off to school now, though. Peace and Joy, Charly, and I look forward to more poetry. 🙂 Stay Frosty! Brenda
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aloha Brenda. a way interesting moment. this thought/comparison of the writer to the bulb. dedication. a very cool butterfly moment. aloha.
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aloha Rick, thanks for visiting. After being sick, I had so many nonproductive days in there, I was trying to put that into perspective for myself. We can’t shine everyday. I loved your photo from last week. I was sad to not feel well enough to write something for it. I had a plan and a draft, but no words. It was a hollowing out, nasty bug I had. Anyway, great art! Warmly, Brenda
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yeah. being sick is not fun. and it sometimes difficult to get back on track in or after the recovery process. just become well. that’s a good first step (imo).
thank you on the image. no worries about writing to it. when it moves you at some other time you can always clatter away on the keyboard then.
i’m glad you are back into wording again. stay well and enjoy the on-path to spring. aloha.
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So many good stories. I had a plan to write about my grandpa Fred, and you are right. Perhaps I will, one day. 🙂 Life is beautiful is my motto today. 🙂 aloha
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it’s still a plan. in the right moment i have no doubt it will happen. that’s the way plans work. fun. aloha.
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It may only be there for a short while, but they can leave behind a lifetime of memories
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Yes, sometimes, they seem to be what life is all about, collecting those shiny moments.
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Oooh a shiney 😉
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That photo is beautiful! I just love the way you write. I know what you mean about “butterfly” moments and squeezing in some writing…I am sorry I did not keep any of my journals when the children were very young but I do know it kept me sane to write…and children’s stories, just creating…you do it so beautifully, Brenda. I love your writing, your photos and especially your poetry.
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Thanks for commenting! Yes, a lot of us moms write. It’s such a great thing to have your own moments to shine, and not only shine through your kids. Hugs, Brenda
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Well YOU glow!
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Aw!! Thank you!!
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I think I would be happy if just once a year I was as beautiful/talented/perfect as the snowdrop.
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See, there you go, just what I was thinking. Isn’t that a good model for a writer?
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An excellent model.
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😀
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wow girl I have never seen that flower ever. Not that I am a pro or anything but they almost look like the Oklahoma wedding bell flower which droops down like these. What a beautiful sight. You know what I find comfort in routine things. I have a job where I do the same thing pretty much all the time. Yes it changes from story line to story line but for the most part I know what I am doing everyday and with life sometimes isn’t that comforting? I worked with a man that did the same job for 42 years, you could always count on him to be there, be stable and constant and I came to rely on that/him. I loved knowing he would be there doing the same thing the same comfort zone which offered peace to my life. All else could be going nuts but that man was constant. I’ve had two mentors and he is one of them. You are someone comfort Brenda and I think that says so many wonderful things about you as a person! People count on you and that’s so cool to me. I’m headed to bed but wanted to see what was up with super mom! 🙂 😀 Hugs to you sweet Brenda!
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My kids count on me. I do the same things every day, and we have fun, too. I do find comfort in my routine, but I also like to use it as a platform to imagine, as a lens to see the bigger picture through. I like change, too, though. I started blogging last year, and also teaching my class. Those are still fairly new to me, but now wonderful parts of my routine. 🙂 Nice that people count on me, do you mean blogging friends? I love my blogging friends. Warmly, Brenda
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Oh I mean everyone! I know that a lot of people count on me. Just the big scope of life. It’s funny how if we are not in our place in life some people notice and will ask where were you or are you ok. Things like that! I just didn’t realize what spot I held in some people’s lives until I started to change and move in a different direction. Sometimes they like you to always stay the same and I of course always change. Except for work and family immediate I mean. As far as family as a whole I have stepped out of my role as fixer, and main communicator for all. I no longer feel it is my responsibility to make sure everyone is together. That was a huge burden put on me and I accepted because when my Pa passed it fell on me the oldest. So now I am better. I was really talking in general. I love that you teach a class what class do you teach and I think that is so cool to know about you! Are you a professor?
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I’m actually a lawyer, inactive, and have always been writing, one form or another. I started teaching writing at the local Senior Center a year ago, and I love it!! Everybody has stories to tell. I’m going to my first writer’s conference next month, and I’m very excited. My novel was accepted for a manuscript critique. No idea what that will be like, but good, I hope!! Fingers crossed!
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Wow you go girl! I love it! Wow you are something else Totally amazing! You have a lot of skills I am sure are popping up all over the place! 🙂 Fingers crossed with you! 🙂
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Before I could write, I was telling stories to my dolls. 🙂 They had very exciting lives. LOL
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I can tell that’s where that fairy tale comes from! My girl used to do the same thing! It was precious! I never want to let that part go do you? It’s the happy place! 😄😄
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Definitely, want to hang onto that!! Want to inhabit that. 🙂
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Lol yes for sure! Have you read yet to you boy? I so remember and loved bed time routines! Alex is in class tonight! Doesn’t get out till 10. I’m lost when she’s gone! I know I need to get a life but I love hearing all her funny stories from her day! 😄😄
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Tonight the boys played in an orchestra concert and we were all out late, my girl was drooping by the time we got home. They all went straight to bed, no stories, poor things.
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Being a kid is rough and busy! It’s a wonder how they get it all worked in! They don’t get bored that’s for sure!
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They are pretty focused and work hard. They love music, their bows move with such passion. It’s a joy for me to see.
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I love it when you see your child find their passion! My girl’s is medicine so I listen ever night to her latest procedures! Who would have known! I love the violin! My nieces play! Does you boy play chello
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I have two violinists and a cellist, but my five year old is just a beginner. They all play piano and belt out songs. My middle is also drumming. We all play bluegrass with my cousin as well. Fiddling is fun. 🙂
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Wow you have a family band you sound like Antell family . We all play! That is so cool Brenda! What does your girl play? Alex played the flute?
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Violin and piano. So far. 🙂
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❤️❤️💜💜👍👍ok I’m turning into a sleepy fairy princess! Lol! Night Mom of the Year! 😄😄
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Good night, princess!
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Same to you princess! What if you wore you tiara while driving your kids to school. How funny would that be?
LOL
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Mmm, a prom dress and long gloves, too, just to complete the look. LOL
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Oh yes! I love the way you think! Would embarres the fire out of your kids. Alex’s prom dress is Orange and so so pretty, 469.00 and it was a shame that she only wore it once so one time I wore it to a dinner, with all her bling and her sandals but the funniest part was I sent her a photo and she said, “OMG mom DO NOT PUT THAT ON FB.” LOL I recommend it. What if you showed up like that to pick them up like nothing was going on. OMG I’m laughing just thinking about it.
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Years of therapy to recover. LOL Can you just see their little faces and the faces of their friends. My 12 year old would never live it down, me in orange with my hair!! Actually I think my daughter would totally dig it. I could just say: going to tea with the queen, darlings. LMAO
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OMG yes that would be so funny! I love your sense of humor! 😀
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Right back at you!
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So lovely and we both had butterflies on the brain at the same time. Your writing is wonderful gift that I am so glad you take time for~
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Reblogged this on idealisticrebel.
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I have left writing for days, weeks, months, and at one point for a year or so, but I too find that it keeps me sane!
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Life intervenes sometimes, but I find myself happier and more stable writing some each week. I never seem to manage daily. Perhaps one day, when the kids are grown, I will get there, too. Thanks for commenting! Brenda
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I love your poems Brenda, and I adore snowdrops! They are so cute and they make me smile! In Norway we have so many stories and legends about them and their quiet gentle strength!
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Thanks, Line. I would love to hear stories about snowdrops. 🙂 They are so beautiful and hardy. They are waiting for the bees. Patient, heads bowed. I must come visit you soon, but I’m too tired now. Maybe after my class tomorrow. Hugs, Brenda
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